@Joshuwaa;

"What do I deserve?
I’ve had a lot on this year, like seriously, A LOT. I’ve been put into therapy and been through 3 councillors. All over stuff I’ve talked about before and things that I would never discuss on here, or with anyone I didn’t trust fully, but it’s a lot, trust me.
And I’ve struggled and thought to keep my life on track despite this, worked so hard, tried so hard. And it just feels like I don’t have much to show for it. And because of this people don’t see me as doing/achieving much or working very hard at all. But It’s all so hard, especially when you wake up and it’s the most difficult fucking thing to drag yourself out of bed because you’re terrified of what’s beyond your door.
I can’t be happy without feeling guilty, without wondering why I should be happy, if I’m allowed to be happy. There’s so many other people who deserve happiness more than me. I want to be loved, but do I deserve it? And I have the most amazing friendships, and I wonder if I deserve them, and wonder how on earth I found/keep them most of the time.
And I keep ending up in these spirals of self loathing, and wonder if I deserve that. I mean, I don’t have it so bad, there’s so many worse off than myself… but it really isn’t any comfort to me, not that I find comfort in others misery, but you know what I mean?
Maybe I should just stop over thinking everything."


Why do you always know exactly how I feel?