I'm sick to death of crying myself to sleep every night, like I have for the past few years. I don't want to wake up and start to cry because I woke up. I don't want to dwell on the past anymore. I don't want to miss people who aren't coming back or don't give a shit. I'm sick of being such a fuckup that I hurt the few people I do love. I don't want to have to hold back. I don't want to feel caged anymore.

I want to be happy, but the truth is I don't even know what that feels like anymore.
I don't know where to start.