what is this I don't even

So... Dean's been talking to Renee again.

How do I feel? I don't know, how the fuck am I supposed to feel? God, she took him away from me once, she can just as easily do it again, the trollop. He can whinge how we're not talking, but all we say to eachother now is "I love/miss/wanna see you so bad right now."
He doesn't make any effort to talk to me.
I don't know, apparently they had a D&M or some shit. Do I care that he's talking to other girls? Fuck no, good on him.
Just anyone but her. She ruined things between us, she really fucking hurt him. Why the fuck, would he even go there again?
Does he not know how much I think about him, want to see him everyday again, how much I worry?
Fuck him, whatever. I'd rather pretend I don't care than actually let on how much it kills me to even wonder if we'd go through that shit again.